the top 20 differences in a world without men

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Friday, 25-Jul-2008 13:46:19

The top 20 differences in a world without men. Suggestions for this list came from both men and women, but you can pretty easily pick out the ones made up by men -- those pigs.

20. For tax purposes, vibrators are considered dependents.

19. As far as the eye can see: unopened jars.

18. Millennia-old arts of power-burping and fart-lighting are lost forever.

17. "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" is a big hit for Womanfred Womann.

16. ESPN now stands for the Estrogen, Salad and Potpourri Network.

15. 85% reduction in the number of boogers wiped under bus seats.

14. "How's it hangin'?" replaced by "How's it secretin'?"

13. No babies subjected to the clueless shenanigans of Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

12. High heels only worn to reach things on the top shelf.

11. Trailer-hitch testicles on redneck trucks replaced with grill-mounted Truck Tits (tm).

10. Martha Stewart accepts presidential administration post as Secretary of Everything.

9. Women all over the world have no need for clothing as they live life to its sleek, airy, unencumbered, sun-bronzed, bouncy, pillow-fighting, perspiration-glistening--
uh, 'scuse me a minute...

8. More monkeys as pets, as women occasionally long for the good old days.

7. Oprah seizes global power with a bloody victory over Tyra.

6. No more war, as all the spare metal has been melted down to make Vagipulse X-6000s.

5. "And for the fifth consecutive year, Danica Patrick is the Kotex Cup champion!"

4. Gitmo filled with supermodels who are being indefinitely detained but have yet to be charged with an actual crime.

3. Bill of Rights Amendment #1: Toilet seats shall be permanently glued down.

2. Batteries in TV remote controls seem to last an eternity.

and the Number 1 Difference in a World Without Men...

1. Mary, Flo and Shirley are forced to take waitressing gigs after the complete and total failure of their comedy troupe, The Three Stoogettes.

Post 2 by The Elemental Dragon (queen of dragons) on Friday, 25-Jul-2008 17:29:48

omg, nice!! just nice!!

Post 3 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Sunday, 27-Jul-2008 15:09:30

Fucking roflmao! Excellent!

Post 4 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Saturday, 02-Aug-2008 23:53:21

Wow that was hillarious. Funny, good one.